I had of list of things to do today. I was heading to Jazzercise, but I was a little early, so stopped at Staples first to pick up a pack of manila envelopes. After a nice workout I went to Target with my greasy hair and workout clothes. Without a list, I just went up and down all the aisles grabbing random food items I usually don’t buy, like mushrooms, Ovaltine and pomegranate fruit leathers, oh, and a cool lamp I liked. My friend’s birthday is today, so I picked up a present for her too. She called me while I was milling around Target and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch. “Sure, just need to get home and put the groceries away and take a shower.” I’ll leave my hair wet– it’ll dry curly anyway and save me time blowdrying and straightening.

There were two phone messages when I got home. I returned them while unloading the car, jumped into the shower, and was ready in twenty minutes. Back in the car, I called my friend. “Where do you want to meet?” We went back and forth with the “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” until her husband called on the other line. I told her call me back while I drive in her direction. She called back and said her husband was in the same store she was, surprising her for her birthday. She still said I could go out with them. “I’m not going to be the third wheel. I’ll just go to the bank,” which I needed to do anyway. At the bank, I’m rummaging through my purse to find this check I need to cash. Can’t find it. Shoot! Well, I’m out, so now what?

I go over to Kohls nextdoor and stand in the doorway. I don’t need anything. I’ll look for pants for Gordon. Nope, the shorts are out. Who is wearing shorts?!? It’s like 30 degrees. So I decide to stop at my favorite neighborhood thrift store, Value Village. I like to buy funky shoes–bright colors, fluffy, boots, shoes like that, but they’ve gotta be a good deal. The last pair I got from VV were yellow alligator type heels. For $3! I love them. I get a kick out of watching people look down at my feet. “What is she wearing?” I know they’re asking themselves. “That’s right! I’m different than you and I like to dress up my feet.” I didn’t find any this time, so I stroll over to the books.

Right now I’m in the middle of four books–The Sea of Monsters, Icefire, Pride & Prejudice, and Artemis Fowl. I’m reading a bunch of young adult books since mine falls into that genre and I want to know what’s out there. I’ve even got a specialized genre–magical realism. I just throw in a classic so I don’t start thinking like an eleven year old. I usually start a book, then I see another I want to read, and so I start that one…and so on and so on, and so I found another book.

I’m waiting in line; a rather long line for a thrift store. A little girl in her mother’s arms starts throwing a fit and hitting her mother and screaming. I smile, cuz I don’t have to go through that anymore and I think of all the times my kids acted up in stores. I remember the stares and the rude comments. Behind me a lady (if you can call her that) starts popping her gum. She’s popping it right in my ear. Pop! Pop! I imagine turning around and popping her one. Then the albino lady (minus the pink eyes) in front of me turns and says, regarding the little girl, “She needs a nap”. The albino is sporting a toothpick from her mouth. Where are everyone’s manners? I almost think about leaving my book and walking out the door, but at a buck fifty, a can’t.

I get my book, leave the store, and am lost in the parking lot. I walk up to a gold Honda Odyssey. Nope, not mine. Oh, there it is! Nope, not mine. How many stinkin’ gold Odysseys are there in Mooresville? I find mine, drive off, but notice a turquoise paper flapping under my wiperblade. Someone stuck a flyer on my windsheild! One, I hate paper waste. Two, I hate it on my car, and three, it’s gonna fly off and create litter. I hate, absolutely despise people who litter. Sometime I’ll tell you about the time someone in the car in front of me threw their trash out the window. Anyway, at the light I jump out and pull off the flyer. I smile at the guy in the car behind me, who is looking at the big white fuzzy boots I’m wearing. Then I turn up the tunes and dance in the car. I like it booming, ear-splitting, and I like to drive fast. My friends make fun of me and say they won’t drive with me cuz I’m dangerous. I think it stems from all the drag racing I did down 182nd street in my Dodge Omni in high school (shhhh, don’t tell my parents). I’ve only had one traffic ticket (speeding) when I lived in Arizona, and I don’t think that should count because the roads in Tuscon are like giant desert highways with no one in sight. It’s like a siren’s call to drive fast down a road like that. I haven’t got into a car wreck since I was 16 years old, and that wasn’t my fault. When you’re a housemom, you’ve gotta have some fun, and driving fast weaving in and out of traffic is my little high. At all the lights I shout “No Wammies!” That’s my secret for making it through on a green. It was an expression on a popular game show in the 80’s if anyone remembers. I only do all this when I’m alone though.

Then I go to the post office and mail off yet another query letter to a literary agent (that’s why I needed manila envelopes). This one’s got a query, synopsis and the first three chapters. Mailing queries is getting expensive. Every day I either mail or email one off. I’m up to about 40 now and think all agents need to ask for submissions via email to save paper. I’m waiting for all the rejections to come flooding in. I’ve got ten minutes before the kids come home and the real work starts–the homework, the dinner, the dishes, the directing of chores and piano. I thought I’d just blog about an average day in the life of a housewife.

Here’s a quick summary of Christmas 2008:
Went to Winston/Salem to see mega lights at Tanglewood park.
If you go, don’t go on a weekend. We go every year, but this year we were stupid and went on a weekend. Two hours in line…bah humbug!
Blah, blah, blah, kids fell asleep in the car.

Blah, blah, blah…lights.

Then we were rockin’ around the Christmas tree and table dancing.

Wore our silly hats to pass out cookies to the neighbors and sing “We Wish you a Merry Christmas.” Only first verse…we don’t sing.

Went to my parent’s house Christmas Eve and ate way too much good food.

Christmas morning opened up the stash. Not really a stash. The kids got one present this year, a stocking of stuff from Santa and a two family presents.

One of the presents was a trip. We took the kids to Myrtle Beach to go to their place, Magiquest. The Schmids went with us too, so we all had a good time with friends and family.